Overcoming Challenges: Divorce
“How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we’d profit from them.” – Lucille Ball
Over the past few years in working with professional athletes, and business professionals across the country, we have uncovered some common challenges that most people will be confronted with in life.
The challenges range from: Lack of Significance and Purpose, Financial Loss, Anger & Bitterness, Substance Abuse, Time Management, Divorce, Physical Challenges, Isolation, Depression, and Denial.
Over the next few posts, I will attempt to share some practical keys to help you or someone you know navigate the issue they are challenged with.
The purpose is not to solve the challenge. But we do want to create a roadmap for the challenge to no longer keep you or anyone you know from accomplishing the dreams.
Did you know that over 50% of NFL marriages fail in the first year after leaving the game?
It takes focus and time to be great at anything. The reality is that many times that the time that is spent being great in one area causes a shortage of what’s needed for success in other areas of our lives.
For an NFL player, they sacrifice and deny themselves of the time, memories and opportunities to be with their family because of the game. And even when they are home, they have to rest or watch game film to prepare for the next game.
The reality is that like many people, players can sometimes neglect their marriage because of the priority of their career.
If you are trying to help some one facing the challenges of divorce…here are 5 Coaching Strategies to help them through the process:
- Listen well. Don’t interject your opinion. Don’t compare your situation or another situation. Just listen and be present with them as they express what they are going through.
- Help create a support network. It will be important for them to have a safe and support network of people who will be willing to assist. Even if it means just to listen, or to invite over for holidays. Everyone needs to feel as though they still belong, and has someone to reach out to.
- Check in with them regularly. Don’t wait for them to call you. Take the initiative to simply check in. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation. It’s just an acknowledgement that someone is thinking of them.
- Bucket Your Frustration. Everyone needs a place to vent! Be willing to allow them to vent their frustration without judgment, or trying to fix what’s happening. Remember, a person can’t access the logic and reason portion of the brain while the emotional side is still active. They need to be able to release their emotion in order for them to process information logically.
- Help find a counselor, or someone professionally trained and equipped to help. Do not take on the role of the counselor. Being a friend is one thing. Being a counselor is something else. Encourage them to talk to a counselor who can help them navigate this season of their life.
VISIT www.freddiescott.org to connect with Freddie and find out more about his work building leaders in the community and for speaking requests.
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